How Bad Do I Want It?

I’ve been fighting my weight for what seems like ages.  Partly because I’m lazy ,but mainly because I don’t eat well….or rather the unhealthy things I eat I do NOT eat in moderation.
I’ve done Weight Watchers numerous times. If I consider my heaviest weight and my lowest recent weight, I did lose a total of 50 lbs with the program over an almost 10 year period.  Don’t get me wrong!  Their program works!  It does……..if you follow it, which I only did half the time.


I’ve come to determine recently that I have a very unhealthy relationship with food – sugar especially.  I can NOT say no to the granulated white Satan of deliciousness.  In fact, on our last birthday food day at work, all I ate was sugar…pastries, donuts…I kept going back for more and more and more.


So I decided I needed to take back control and try something different.  I needed to do something that was more focused on true clean eating – no low fat high fiber “diet” food.  Less of the fake sugar.


I contacted a friend, Monique, who is a certified personal trainer and licensed massage therapist to discuss my sugar addiction and how I was so frustrated at my inability to control my eating.  I started working with her on a different way of approaching it.  We would work on the food and I would work out on my own at this point.


I’m not sure of all the sciency-ness behind it (she is the science nerd…I leave it up to her), but after weighing in, taking tape and caliper measurements, she gave me my first goal.  Nothing big.  Just replace my regular breakfast (which was usually an egg with some cheese on a high fiber whole wheat English muffin or plain greek yogurt with fruit) with something pretty foreign.  I started having an ounce of raw unsalted nuts (I prefer cashews, almonds or mixed nuts -Trader Joe’s has a decent assortment…if only they had pistachios) with at least 4 oz of meat.  Lean meat like shrimp, chicken breast, sirloin steak (limited to once a week for the most part – sad face).  I did that for a week and tried to eat well during my other meals but was still eating a lot of sugar.


I must also comment here that this plan goes hand in hand with taking daily supplements in the form of a probiotic, a multivitamin, Vitamin D and fish oil.  The probiotic and mulivitamin I get through Melaleuca while currently the Vitamin D and fish oil I get from other more standard resources.


So this last Thursday I started my sugar/carb detox by eating all lean meats and lots of green and yellow veggies – squash, zucchini, kale, spinach, broccoli, brussels sprouts.


The first few days were tough.  Day #2 i was sooo tired; I remembered that from when I did the “No Carb” thing  in the 90s right after college .  I found myself able to smell (and thus taste) the pastries sitting in the cube next to mine.  Yet I didn’t waver.  (Write that down on the calendar.  I usually have NO willpower whatsoever.)  I persevered, turning down offers of sharing an indulgent meal with coworkers at my part time serving/bartending job, looking at the garlic cheddar biscuits and walking away, telling Sparky no when he wanted to go out to dinner (because I knew it would just be too difficult), sitting down to eat chicken breast from the crockpot with onions and zucchini and yellow squash while my family had a decadently creamy pasta dish and watermelon.  I even managed to get 2 workouts in (which is piddly, but better than nothing).
What everyone else ate

What everyone else ate

What I ate

What I ate


I went to weigh in bright and early Thursday morning.  How did it go?  I was down 6-8 lbs depending on which of the 2 scales one were to go by.  When measurements were taken I appeared to have lost 4 or so inches total.  Not too bad for 2 weeks work, eh? I was very pleased with it.  And it’s rather motivating.  Enough so that I even contemplated going home (on a Friday night no less) after work and doing a workout video (Jillian Michael’s No More Trouble Zones – I’m still recovering from Wednesday’s work out).  I’ve even invested in a fitbit to take place of my Weight Watchers Active Link now that I’m no longer paying my monthly dues there.


What have I learned from the last week?


I rediscovered how good grilled/broiled shrimp really is in comparison to frozen shrimp warmed up by boiling.  I had forgotten how tasty a steak was without being drenched in butter at a restaurant.  I was amazed at how tasty raw nuts were even without the unnecessary salt.


While I miss bread, sweets, pasta, and would KILL for a diet soda right now, I also found myself really craving fruit.  I would love a fresh, juicy apple, ripe watermelon, delicious blueberries and grapes.


I’ve learned that it’s much more difficult to get to a certain calorie threshhold eating tons of veggies and lean meats than it is when I eat tons of sweets and other tasty processed items.  So much so that I really need to bulk up my calorie intake considerably.  This is pretty common  when you think about it.  Well DUH, that incredibly yummy iced scone from Panera is going to be more caloric that a huge salad filled with spinach, spring greens, chicken breast, broccoli and balsamic vinegar.  But you don’t really realize it until you pay attention.  It’s kind of like when you start keeping a food journal for the first time.  And I don’t mean a half-assed food journal like my step-daughter kept for a while where she estimated that a large Dairy Queen Blizzard was only about 400 calories.  Really?   She was pretty shocked to find out that it was actually over double that.  I mean when you really accurately keep track of what you eat and look up what the nutritional value is (there are many apps/websites out there you can use – i just happen to use


I’ve discovered that when someone really truly holds me accountable I will work harder toward my goal.  I’ve learned that I CAN do this and I have decided I WILL do this.  There is nothing wrong with turning down food just because it’s there or it’s free or someone “has” to eat it.  There is nothing wrong with telling the food pushers of the world NO!  Making it happen in the future is my real test.


After this 2nd week of sugar/carb detox, I look forward to getting to add a carb (likely sweet potato) and fruit back into my diet after next Thursday’s weigh in and measuring session.  I will be sharing this experience here in hopes that it will help me move forward in my endeavor to a healthier and lighter state of being and that maybe it will help someone else out there who, like me, thought there was no hope of ever really getting healthy.
Image | This entry was posted in Fitness, Food and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to How Bad Do I Want It?

  1. jennii323 says:

    This is great! I’ve always struggled with my weight as well. I also LOVE food. It’s tough. Good luck! You’re off to a good start!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s