I used to love to write. I used to do it all the time. And to be honest, it wasn’t too bad. I wrote mainly fiction; and while I started many ‘stories’, I never finished them. Life always got in the way, or I would lose interest and start a new ‘story’ with new characters. While writing used to be an outlet, a way to relax and express myself, that has been replaced by reading.
I’m not saying reading is bad…it’s definitely not. But in some way it has kept me from writing. Or rather I am using it as a scapegoat to explain why I haven’t written.
I hope that writing is like riding a bike…once you try again, you will remember it and get the hang. I have a fear that’s it’s more like the money in my FSA plan or a foreign language – if you don’t use it, you lose it.
I took 5 years of Russian, but my last class was almost 20 years ago. I loved the language and fully intended to travel to Russia one day. There was a group of people from the Ukraine that frequented the pharmacy I worked in, and speaking with them in Russian always left me with a feeling of accomplishment. Just the fact that I understood what they were saying to me and that I could respond to them (and they actually understood what I was trying to say) blew me away. It made me feel great. And that’s how writing used to be for me.
Having not spoken any Russian in almost 20 years, I have pretty much lost everything I learned. I can still say basic things like: Hi, my name is Kristi, I work in a pharmacy; excuse me please; or good morning, I have a question. I have a fear that when I try to write again, on a more regular basis, that it will be like learning Russian again. It will be rough going, and I may have a hard time getting what I’m trying to convey across to the reader. And while you can blame “writing style” for many writing no-nos (such as ending a sentence in a preposition), how many of these errors will I make and not realize?
So today I embark on a very challenging, and terrifying, journey. After a good year of hemming and hawing, I have decided to blog. Not only am I worried about all of the above, but I’m most worried that I will find nothing of importance to write about, or that my writing will be so boring that no one will read it. (Secretly in some ways, I don’t mind the thought of no one reading it…the idea of people actually reading it is more immobilizing mentally).
This blog is a total learning process. Please bear with me while I try to figure this whole thing out as I am not a professional blogger…I just play one on tv. So for those of you willing to take this journey with me, I thank you, and maybe should apologize in advance! 🙂 (and I promise that there will be more pictures when I figure this all out!)